Still torn...

Still struggling with some things...still torn about what I should be sharing to ultimately glorify God...

Torn...

I'm greatly debating, and praying, about things that I should share on this blog...and things that I shouldn't.  There are so many personal struggles in my life (struggles that effect almost everyone around me) that I really believe God allows me to go through for my sanctification and for others to be blessed and benefit from...But, in your flesh (and from the lies of the devil), you feel you will be rejected or looked down on.  And is part of what God wants to sanctify in me...the fear of sharing these things with people, letting them see who I really am and what I suffer through daily?

This is also an issue for me because once you put something on the internet...it is there forever and you can never take it back.  Should I allow something so personal to me become so public?  I mean, there is sitting down with a friend, having a cup of coffee, discussing what God is doing in your life and then there is allowing the whole world access to your heart, your struggles, and the gigantic, monstrous, painful thorns in your side.

Torn is a good word to describe me this week...

God vs. Others

I ran across this statement while doing my Beth Moore Bible Study today.  A few quotes from Beth:

"In moments like these, we learn where our confidence is.  However unintentionally, is it in the presence of other believers with stronger faith?"

"We'll never discover what God has empowered us to do personally if we are dependent on the presence of our leadership.  We'll never discover our strengths in the power of God if we keep drawing off another's."

These statements remind me of my favorite devotional out of my favorite devotional book, My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers.  This comes from the devotion for February 12 titled, "Are Listening to God?":

"We don't consciously and deliberately disobey God--we simply don't listen to Him...We show how little love we have for God by preferring to listen to His servants rather than to Him.  We like to listen to personal testimonies, but we don't want God Himself to speak to us.  Why are we so terrified  for God to speak to us?  It is because we know that when God speaks we must either do what He asks or tell Him we will not obey..."

"Am I constantly humilitating God by ignoring Him, while He lovingly continues to treat me as His child?"

Of course, this is not the entire devotional, but it highlights the main points (at least in my opinion!).  I tend to take other believers' word, stronger believers', over the Word of God.  It's easy to do.  I think we have a lot to learn through the servants of God, considering Proverbs 27:17.  But, I have so much to learn from God Himself.  And that is scary...I don't want to unintentionally choose to disobey God.  Listening to God...so much easier said than done...