I have not written for a while because my life got crazy busy...
I have been doing a lot of volunteer work for my sorority Sigma Sigma Sigma (http://www.sigmasigmasigma.org/) and that has taken up a lot of my time. I am a National Officer for TriSigma serving in as part of a Regional Support Team for 2 chapters in Florida. I am also now the Chapter Advisor for the Alpha Omicron chapter...which has proven to take up the most of my "Sigma time" or the time that I allow myself to work on Sigma stuff.
I am also volunteering for a "mommies group" (http://www.littlerockmommies.com/) as a Moderator (event planner). I attend most of the events that I plan. Proven to be a lot of fun and quality time with Zeke.
I am now part of a Bible Study group at my church that meets a few times a month. It's been a great time of learning and fellowship...truly thankful for that.
Of course my family takes up a lot of my time...and I enjoy and look forward to every minute of that time. I will more than likely be homeschooling Zeke in the fall, but Ruthie will attend school...for now.
God has really been moving in my life lately...showing me some deep rooted sin issues that I refuse to deal with until they were in my face (by God's design and purpose for me!). Planning on getting more stuff on here in the future. Please continue to be patient with me (for those who actually care what I have to say!).
Monday, March 28, 2011
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Still torn...
Still struggling with some things...still torn about what I should be sharing to ultimately glorify God...
Friday, October 8, 2010
Torn...
I'm greatly debating, and praying, about things that I should share on this blog...and things that I shouldn't. There are so many personal struggles in my life (struggles that effect almost everyone around me) that I really believe God allows me to go through for my sanctification and for others to be blessed and benefit from...But, in your flesh (and from the lies of the devil), you feel you will be rejected or looked down on. And is part of what God wants to sanctify in me...the fear of sharing these things with people, letting them see who I really am and what I suffer through daily?
This is also an issue for me because once you put something on the internet...it is there forever and you can never take it back. Should I allow something so personal to me become so public? I mean, there is sitting down with a friend, having a cup of coffee, discussing what God is doing in your life and then there is allowing the whole world access to your heart, your struggles, and the gigantic, monstrous, painful thorns in your side.
Torn is a good word to describe me this week...
This is also an issue for me because once you put something on the internet...it is there forever and you can never take it back. Should I allow something so personal to me become so public? I mean, there is sitting down with a friend, having a cup of coffee, discussing what God is doing in your life and then there is allowing the whole world access to your heart, your struggles, and the gigantic, monstrous, painful thorns in your side.
Torn is a good word to describe me this week...
Thursday, October 7, 2010
God vs. Others
I ran across this statement while doing my Beth Moore Bible Study today. A few quotes from Beth:
"In moments like these, we learn where our confidence is. However unintentionally, is it in the presence of other believers with stronger faith?"
"We'll never discover what God has empowered us to do personally if we are dependent on the presence of our leadership. We'll never discover our strengths in the power of God if we keep drawing off another's."
These statements remind me of my favorite devotional out of my favorite devotional book, My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers. This comes from the devotion for February 12 titled, "Are Listening to God?":
"We don't consciously and deliberately disobey God--we simply don't listen to Him...We show how little love we have for God by preferring to listen to His servants rather than to Him. We like to listen to personal testimonies, but we don't want God Himself to speak to us. Why are we so terrified for God to speak to us? It is because we know that when God speaks we must either do what He asks or tell Him we will not obey..."
"Am I constantly humilitating God by ignoring Him, while He lovingly continues to treat me as His child?"
Of course, this is not the entire devotional, but it highlights the main points (at least in my opinion!). I tend to take other believers' word, stronger believers', over the Word of God. It's easy to do. I think we have a lot to learn through the servants of God, considering Proverbs 27:17. But, I have so much to learn from God Himself. And that is scary...I don't want to unintentionally choose to disobey God. Listening to God...so much easier said than done...
"In moments like these, we learn where our confidence is. However unintentionally, is it in the presence of other believers with stronger faith?"
"We'll never discover what God has empowered us to do personally if we are dependent on the presence of our leadership. We'll never discover our strengths in the power of God if we keep drawing off another's."
These statements remind me of my favorite devotional out of my favorite devotional book, My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers. This comes from the devotion for February 12 titled, "Are Listening to God?":
"We don't consciously and deliberately disobey God--we simply don't listen to Him...We show how little love we have for God by preferring to listen to His servants rather than to Him. We like to listen to personal testimonies, but we don't want God Himself to speak to us. Why are we so terrified for God to speak to us? It is because we know that when God speaks we must either do what He asks or tell Him we will not obey..."
"Am I constantly humilitating God by ignoring Him, while He lovingly continues to treat me as His child?"
Of course, this is not the entire devotional, but it highlights the main points (at least in my opinion!). I tend to take other believers' word, stronger believers', over the Word of God. It's easy to do. I think we have a lot to learn through the servants of God, considering Proverbs 27:17. But, I have so much to learn from God Himself. And that is scary...I don't want to unintentionally choose to disobey God. Listening to God...so much easier said than done...
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Grrr...
Seriously...Grrrr. That's what I've heard for the last few weeks from Zeke. When I ask him questions, talk to him, tell him to do something...he growls at me. Where is this coming from? I have no idea, but it's getting old. He seems angry all the time and really emotional. He also doesn't seem as close to me as he use to be...if that makes any sense. I'm not so much liking this phase and I'm praying that we all learn whatever it is that we need to learn from this phase so it can move on! I am trying to love/discipline my little boy the best way I can and this throws me for a loop. Prayers are appreciated.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Filtered Love: Mark 12:30
Again with the Beth Moore study...Today I was reading over one of the studies and came across this:
Christ never preached the annihilation of affection. He taught the redirection of affection. Human affection first directed to God and filtered through His Hands returns to us far healthier and fit for others. That's one reason we are commanded to love Him first before we love others. Love that goes through Him first is filtered.
Completely profound. As a Christian, you are always told that God has a reason for everything He does, for everything He tells us to do. But, you never think that God has a reason for telling us to do something and you should take Him literally and do it in the order that He tells you to...
Mark 12:30 says, "...'And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.' The second is this: 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no other commandment greater than these."
I know that I should love God and that I should love my neighbor, but I've never thought about there being a reason that He tells me to love Him before I love my neighbor...There are so many times that I try to love my neighbor (others) and I get so frustrated because it is so absolutely, ridiculously hard. Apparently, it's because I've not filtered that love through God by loving Him first...truly loving Him first. It makes so much more sense that He would have a reason for telling us to love God, then love your neighbor. I want my love for others to be a healthy love and a love fit for others...what does that even look like, a love fit for others? A love that displays Christ and sees others the way that Christ sees them.
The hardest part? Others includes my husband and my children...I most definitely want to have a love that is fit for them, my primary ministry.
NOTE: My baby Ezra Ruth turns 5 years old today. We had her birthday party on Saturday, but today I took some little cupcakes to her class. After school, Joshua met us at the library so that Ruthie could get her first library card. She (and we) were so excited! I can't believe that she is already 5 years old. So many things I wish I could have done better, but there are so many days ahead!
Christ never preached the annihilation of affection. He taught the redirection of affection. Human affection first directed to God and filtered through His Hands returns to us far healthier and fit for others. That's one reason we are commanded to love Him first before we love others. Love that goes through Him first is filtered.
Completely profound. As a Christian, you are always told that God has a reason for everything He does, for everything He tells us to do. But, you never think that God has a reason for telling us to do something and you should take Him literally and do it in the order that He tells you to...
Mark 12:30 says, "...'And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.' The second is this: 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no other commandment greater than these."
I know that I should love God and that I should love my neighbor, but I've never thought about there being a reason that He tells me to love Him before I love my neighbor...There are so many times that I try to love my neighbor (others) and I get so frustrated because it is so absolutely, ridiculously hard. Apparently, it's because I've not filtered that love through God by loving Him first...truly loving Him first. It makes so much more sense that He would have a reason for telling us to love God, then love your neighbor. I want my love for others to be a healthy love and a love fit for others...what does that even look like, a love fit for others? A love that displays Christ and sees others the way that Christ sees them.
The hardest part? Others includes my husband and my children...I most definitely want to have a love that is fit for them, my primary ministry.
NOTE: My baby Ezra Ruth turns 5 years old today. We had her birthday party on Saturday, but today I took some little cupcakes to her class. After school, Joshua met us at the library so that Ruthie could get her first library card. She (and we) were so excited! I can't believe that she is already 5 years old. So many things I wish I could have done better, but there are so many days ahead!
Monday, September 27, 2010
We're all guilty of the same thing...
I'm reading through the Beth Moore study Jesus the One and Only today on Luke 7:36-50 about "A Sinful Woman Forgiven" and came across this sobering statement:
"I am learning that my heart and mind are of greater importance to Him than my words and deeds. Our innermost places desperately need daily purification. Part of the process is recognizing and confessing the judgmental, impure, or critical thoughts before they can make their way to our mouths and our actions. God really can change our negative thought processes, attitudes, and motives. The process takes time and cooperation, however, because these thought patterns are just as much habital sin as the transgressions of the woman of ill repute."
Wow...how completely convicting. So convicting, in fact, that it prompted me to search the Scriptures for some additional information. Here is what I've found so far:
God knows our thoughts:
"And we're all guilty of the same thing. We think the thoughts whether or not we see them through..." Forgiven by Relient K (Matthew Thessien)
A huge struggle of mine that I will probably write about over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over...you get the point!
"I am learning that my heart and mind are of greater importance to Him than my words and deeds. Our innermost places desperately need daily purification. Part of the process is recognizing and confessing the judgmental, impure, or critical thoughts before they can make their way to our mouths and our actions. God really can change our negative thought processes, attitudes, and motives. The process takes time and cooperation, however, because these thought patterns are just as much habital sin as the transgressions of the woman of ill repute."
Wow...how completely convicting. So convicting, in fact, that it prompted me to search the Scriptures for some additional information. Here is what I've found so far:
God knows our thoughts:
- The LORD saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every intention of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually. Genesis 6:5
- ...He who teaches man knowledge-the LORD-knows the thoughts of man, that they are but a breath. Psalm 94:10-11
- Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts. Psalm 139:23
- For if we go on sinning deliberately after receiving the knowledge of the truth, there no longer remains a sacrifice for sins... Hebrews 10:26
- We know that everyone who has been born of God does not keep on sinning, but he who was born of God protects him, and the evil one does not touch him. 1 John 5:18
- You have set our iniquities before You, our secret sins in the light of Your presence. Psalm 90:8
"And we're all guilty of the same thing. We think the thoughts whether or not we see them through..." Forgiven by Relient K (Matthew Thessien)
A huge struggle of mine that I will probably write about over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over...you get the point!
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