I was sitting here going through my Jesus The One and Only workbook (as part of the Ladies Bible Study at MidTowne Church) and part of the lesson, Beth Moore "discusses" Jesus healing the sick, using Luke 5 as a reference. She mentions that in Luke 5:20 Jesus confirms that the man is healed by saying, "your sins are forgiven." She states, "Many people in that ancient culture presumed that chronic illnesses or handicaps were somehow related to sin." She also asks, "Does Christ's statement mean that all sickness results directly from an individual's sin?" This is a question that been a question that I have encountered so many times in the last few years...
Because I do have a chronic illness and deal with it on a daily basis, the subject of sovereignty and healing has intrigued me. I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disorder and, even with excellent care and treatment, I still struggle with symptoms. It has definitely taken a toll on my husband, my kids, and our family as a whole. My husband, Joshua, and I both know that God can heal me of this, it is well within his capabilities. He is God.
After reading James 5:13-15 (which states, "Is anyone among you suffering? Let him pray. Is anyone cheerful? Let him sing praise. Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer of faith will save the one who is sick, and the Lord will raise him up. And if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven." ), Joshua and I asked the pastor of the church we were attending if we could do this...have the elders of the church anoint me with oil and have them pray over me...God means for His Word to be literal. This particular church didn't have elders, but there were a few men that Joshua trusted and saw them worthy of an eldership position and he asked them if they would do this...and they did. It was a moving experience and I know that I (and Joshua) was being obedient to God's Word. Beth Moore states in the study, "Sometimes God allows us to explore the 'whys' of His instructions. Other times He wants us to obey 'because He said so.'"
Though he was not the first, I had the pastor of this same church tell me that he didn't think I really believed that God would heal me and that is why God hadn't healed me yet. Wow. My response to him was (and still is), "God can heal me, but He may not choose to." That is the sovereignty of God...God will do whatever brings Him the most glory and completely healing me of my disorder may not bring Him the most glory.
I think that is why when I read John 9:1-3 as part of this Bible Study, it hit me so hard. John 9:1-3 states, "As He passed by, He saw a man blind from birth. And His disciples asked him, 'Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?' Jesus answered, 'It was not that this man sinned, or his parents, but that the works of God might be displayed in him.'" This verse intrigues me for two reasons:
1) This man was blind from birth. The only sin you could commit as a newborn infant is being born a human being because we are all sinful, we have a sin nature. This man's blindness was not "caused" by any specific sin he committed...and, according to Jesus, not from any other persons' sin.
2) This man's blindness was specifically part of God's Sovereign Will. This man was born blind so that this specific event would occur. God created us and knows us inside and out...Psalm 139:14-16 proclaims that. God created this man to be blind so that Jesus could heal him...to give Himself glory. In this instance, it brought God the most glory for this man to be healed; Jesus' teaching in these verses from this instance make that clear.
I think that most Christians (and non-believers as well) believe that if God doesn't heal someone completely of their illness/disorder/disease, then no healing has taken place. That, from my experience, is simply not true. In my case, I have an autoimmune disorder that took 4 years and 15 doctor appointments to diagnose and another year to find a suitable treatment. Because with autoimmune disorders, you don't look sick and you do not display symptoms consistently, I had so many doctors tell me that there was nothing wrong with me, that I was a hypochronidiac and I should see a psychiatrist. I probably should have taken them up on that offer because I was starting to feel crazy!! I was not just physically exhausted, but also mentally, emotionally, spiritually exhausted from so many disappointing doctors appointments and so many vague test results.
At that point in my life, I was just praying that God would give me a diagnosis...a doctor to look at me and tell me that I was actually sick. And when Dr. Gray did that, I wept in his office. Because Dr. Gray is an amazing Christian man and has dealt with autoimmune disorders, he knew exactly why I was crying...the joy of having a diagnosis. Who knew you would feel joy when someone would look at you and tell you you are sick, but I did! I felt...validated. It was a freeing feeling. This was my healing. I could ask nothing else from God. To me, the joy of having a disorder being diagnosed was an amazing healing experience.
I now know that part (not all, but part) of my healing was hearing Dr. Gray tell me I was sick. But, healing comes in different forms...I now have a treatment. I have infusion therapy every 6 weeks. Those treatments are experience and we have experienced financial healing in that my rheumatologist has convinced the drug company that makes this drug treatment to finance my treatment for research (it has never been used for my disorder before). If we did not have this financial healing, we would not be able to afford the treatment.
So, I am not completely healed...and I may never be. All I can say to that is that I want God to do whatever will bring Him the most glory and me being completely healed may not do that...I want to pray for Him to do, through me, whatever will bring Him glory...and then be willing to do that. Beth Moore also states in the study (and I agree wholeheartedly), "Although I don't pretend to understand how or why, some illnesses may serve more eternal purpose than healing, while other healings serve more purpose than illness."
I believe that God created me knowing that this illness would happen...and chose to create me anyway! Am I saying that God created me to be sick? Short answer: Yes, I do...but, it doesn't mean that He can't heal me from it. It may mean that I am "sick" for the rest of my life, but I know that God has a purpose for it...He does for every action He takes.
I have already had so many witnessing opportunities and opportunities to encourage other believers through the testimony of my illness...so many ways that "the works of God might be displayed" like in John 9:1-3. I am truly sincere when I say that if one person, believer or non-believer, can benefit from my experience, then the "suffering" has been worth it. It gives me great joy to see the look in someone's eyes when tI tell them, sincerely, "I know what you are going through" and actually mean it.
Don't misunderstand me...I am not glorifying suffering (that would defeat the purpose of this post). I pray that God would heal me, but if He never choses to, He will still be God.
No comments:
Post a Comment